Let’s celebrate my divorce
Relationship‘Hey, my divorce has been fulfilled, let’s have a party!’ These are not words one could hope to find in the same sentence, but an increasing number of us are celebrating the end of our marriages with our knees raised. Divorce celebration cards and cakes are also becoming the norm.
However, how do most of us feel about divorce parties? Would that brave party face be a veneer as we dance the night away, wanting to reassure our friends and family that we’re okay, or would we really be celebrating? I guess the answer is as varied as the different people and stories in the mix.
For many people, getting divorced is incredibly heartbreaking, especially if there are children to consider. No one marries expecting it to end in divorce. Most of us have a romantic view of marriage, which often ends up getting old and drinking cocoa together by the fire.
When things start to go wrong, people often try many things before deciding to end the day, committing to overcome infidelity, cheating, financial hardship, or behavior problems. Before calling the divorce attorney, they have often tried therapy, counseling from friends, family, religious counselors, mediators, or trial separations until they finally say “no more.”
There are also many practical issues to address. Finances and possessions must be analyzed and distributed accordingly. Ownership of the 5-year CD collection or Christmas present can suddenly reach an unprecedented level of importance and appeal, as it makes the reality of the situation even more bleak. There is rarely a reason to feel like celebrating!
Children may suffer more due to divorce, feeling torn if they are asked to choose where to live or feeling that they are expected to take sides. There may even be the appearance of new stepfathers that gradually make their presence felt. Child-related issues may require a lot of tolerance and patience to amicably work out household, financial, and custodial arrangements. And even adult children can have a hard time accepting that the end of their parents’ marriage is “not supposed to happen” can be heard quite often right now.
Friends may be divided in their loyalty, often refusing to take sides, but in reality they often end up on one side. Or friendships can be lost entirely as the new single situation causes discomfort or discomfort as everyone struggles to adjust to the new arrangements. It can even be an unsettling time for friends as they can’t help but ponder the true state of their own cozy home arrangements.
After all the drama, there is often a period of grief to get through, a sense of loss, and a feeling of failure to be processed. All frustrated dreams and hopes for the future must be mourned. After the divorce it may take time to heal and lick the wounds. It is rare for both parties to feel the same way about a breakup, and over time the situation can turn sour; Each party may have had very different perspectives on marriage.
So when the dust starts to settle and you’ve tentatively embarked on a new home, routine, and lifestyle, throwing a party can seem like a sign that things are finally coming together and a new normal has begun to take shape. .
It may be time to yell, “I’m coming out the other side.” But it is also important to be aware of how the ex is feeling. If a person is clearly struggling financially or still suffering greatly, surely a little tact and sensitivity is appropriate.
After all, they both loved each other once. Watching your ex throw a fancy party while you can barely pay the bills seems unnecessarily cruel! And children, even adults, can be offended if their parents show callousness by celebrating excessively at such a difficult time.
Other than that, throwing a divorce party is often a signifier that finally all the mess is over and you can finally be yourself. All the years leading up to the divorce of negativity, pain, tolerance of a bad situation, or time spent desperate by growing indifference between the two of you, all of that has finally come to an end.
Tastefully bringing together friends, family and followers to share a good time and say ‘thank you’ for their help can be an important way to draw a line with the past and begin your commitment to a new, happier and more positive stage in your life. .