Father’s Wounds: Can a man fear his own aggression if he had an abusive father?
Lifestyle FashionOne way for a man to view his aggression would be to see it as a source of fuel and something that will keep him alive. This means that this part of him is not inherently bad or “negative.”
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This does not mean that this part of him cannot be used destructively. The key will be for you to have a healthy relationship with this part of him and for it to integrate with the rest of his being.
The benefits
When this is the case, you will have access to the drive you need to take action and achieve your goals. Therefore, you will not passively wait for things to happen or wait for other people to give you what you want.
In addition, you will be able to stand firm and assert yourself. Having this ability, he will normally not let people walk all over him and will be able to freely express who he is.
on balance
If another person were to describe him, they might say that he is someone who has a backbone. Most likely, they will not say that he is aggressive or that he takes advantage of others.
This will show that because his aggression has been integrated, most people don’t even realize that he is in contact with this side of him. However, you will be very much in touch with your primitive side.
very diminished
Considering the effect this part of a man will have on him, he will be a very watered down version of himself if he doesn’t have access to it. He may be able to function without him, but he won’t be the man he would be with him.
Quite simply, it could be like a man who has been castrated. The energy and need for self-preservation that this part would provide may be out of reach for him, making him very passive, submissive, quiet, and unable to assert himself or say “no.”
a doormat
As a result of this, you could live a life that is anything but satisfying and you could spend a lot of time feeling down and depressed. In his eyes, life could be more of a curse than a blessing.
He may be used to being trampled on, taken advantage of, and doing things he’d rather not do. When you get to his job, if he has one, he might do something soul-destroying and not give you a sense of fulfillment.
a defenseless state
Because of how bleak his life is, he can often think about calling it a day and taking his own life. This will be due to the fact that you will have had enough and yet you will feel totally powerless.
The energy you need to take life by the horns, so to speak, will be out of your reach and you may not be aware of this side of yourself. If so, there is a chance that he even believes that he does not have any aggression in him.
estranged
Most likely, he has aggression within him, but for whatever reason, he has lost touch with this part of himself. In order to activate, you will need to reconnect with the instinctive side of him.
This can illustrate that you don’t have a good connection with your body and that you live mostly in your head. Living this way will give you mental power but it will not give you the power you need to materialize the life you want to live.
What’s going on?
It may seem strange why he would live on the surface of himself and not be in contact with the power that is in his body. However, once it is connected to his body, it will be like connecting a battery to a car: it will come to life.
Still, this is not to say that he will simply be able to reconnect with this part of him, as it will take time. When it comes to why he would be alienated from his body, it may be because of what happened when he was a child.
a hellish existence
During this stage of his life, his father may have abused him both physically and verbally. It may have been as if he had been sent unarmed into a war zone, since he would not have been able to do anything about it.
The only option available to him would have been to disconnect from his body, causing him to lose touch with his aggression/fight instinct in the process. Throughout this period of his life, he often may have feared that he was going to be annihilated and that his life would come to an end.
an accumulation
Coupled with the damage this caused him, it would have meant a lot of anger and rage building up deep within him. Much of his energy will be spent keeping this pain at bay.
However, if he ever comes into contact with this aggression, he might feel guilty and ashamed, and if he were to think about embracing this side of him, he might believe it would make him do something he would later regret. . Thanks to how his father behaved, a negative view of his aggression will have been formed and keeping this side of him at bay will be essential.
Stuck
In order to move forward, you will need to connect with your aggression, and for this to happen, you will need to overcome your internal wounds and traumas. It is through processing what happened that you will be able to come out of your frozen and closed state and gradually reintegrate this side of your being.
Otherwise, he will remain a shadow of the person he could be and will not be able to grow. What you will have to ponder, if you don’t completely agree with this, is that his father expressed his aggression in a very destructive way and that you can embrace this side of him without being consumed and doing something equally destructive.
Awareness
If a man can relate to this and is ready to turn his life around, he may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.