The Three Chairs Exercise to Broaden Your Perspective

Now, if you have any kind of difficulty with a certain person, then this exercise can help you get a sense of that other person’s perspective or point of view.

So first get your personal or spiritual notebook (or journal), and then write down your thoughts about the problem or situation. It doesn’t have to be a “conflict”, just like when tragedy happens to both of you, then you can broaden your perspective by using this practice to see what information you may have about the other person’s thoughts, feelings and beliefs, for mention some as aspects of personality.

Now, you can set up three chairs. Two of the chairs would be facing each other, and the other chair is something like the observer’s chair (so make it desirable for the “observer”). Or if you choose to do so, you can use your imagination to imagine the scenes in this scenario.

Now when you sit in the first chair, begin to imagine that the other person is in front of you, sitting in the chair directly across from you. They are facing each other and looking at each other. So ask yourself: how do I feel? And what do I mean? And what do I want to happen? Of course, after that you need to get your notebook to jot down your personal ideas.

And then, move to the chair directly opposite your first chair. So now, imagine yourself sitting in the first chair and imagine that you are the other person. So practice your empathy: imagine and pretend to be the other person. Try to see from their perspective (or point of view). As the other person, what are your feelings? What do you want? What do you want? What are you thinking? What is your perspective on the situation or problem? What do you feel (as the other person)? Now after that take your notebook and jot down your ideas.

Lastly, move to the last chair. You are someone who is outside the situation, an observer, and also a wise observer. From this perspective, ask yourself: what do I see? What do I want for the two people sitting in the other chairs? What important things do they need to remember? After asking yourself these questions thoroughly and with deep thought, write down new discoveries and even old ideas that are important in your notebook or journal.