The 7 Golden Rules for Flirty Texting
Shopping Product ReviewsIs there something more stressful What to think of a creative text message for someone you care about? You try and you try, but it all seems like a version of “nice to meet you.”
You have Texter lock. You’re nervous like Paris Hilton on Jeopardy. You’re shaking like a martini. What is your job? Relax. Remember the seven golden rules of flirty texting and you’ll blow up their phones with witty and hilarious text messages that will make them want to get to know you better.
1) Don’t send open text messages.
This is the worst you can send: “Hi how are things?” You may have also texted: “Would you mind thinking of something interesting to say because I’m so fucking boring that the plaster comes off the wall when I talk to him?”
2) Create value with your texts. Interest, smiles, laughter, these are all values that you can give to the other person on the line. You can’t create value with a line like “how are you?” In effect, you are putting the burden of providing value on them. Here are some “Worth Texts” that prove the point (taken from The Flirty Text Message Helper: Witty Texts For Clever People):
Let’s say you have the phone number of someone you’re interested in, but you’re not sure they feel the same level of intensity as you. You can’t flirt openly, so you have to create value in other ways. By engaging your creativity, for example. You could send a text message like:
“My neighbor just bought two dogs and wants to name them after an ’80s pop duo. What do you think of Milli Vanilli?”
If you know the person you’re interested in is just as interested, try sending a text that says: “”Stop.” When they reply, “Stop what?” you send a text message, “Stop thinking about me. Watch? You’re doing it right now.”
3) Reinforce the memory of their interaction.
If you both complained about your boss when you talked, extend the conversation through funny texts. Example:
“”My boss is doing the work of three men: Larry, Moe and Curly. I hope your day is going better.”
Prayed, “My boss has my hair on fire. Do you?”
The point is to make each flirt text vibrate with a witty sparkle that makes the other person want to get to know you better.
4) Be brief
Length is not just the enemy of humor; It’s also a flirt killer because it communicates need. As in, you’re so lonely and bored that you just spent 15 minutes writing a text and expect them to do the same.
5) Use Proper Grammar.
Once, a girlfriend showed me a text message from a guy she was interested in. He asked her to “”brekfiss” And that was the end of that. I glanced at all of his texts and couldn’t tell if he was using abbreviations or if he was an illiterate who couldn’t spill.
6) Make them smile.
Once, I received a text message that said: “”Last night I changed the name of my iPod to Titanic. Now when I plug it into my computer it says, “The Titanic is syncing.” How can you not want to get to know that person better?
7) Don’t text too much
Never, EVER send a second or third text if they haven’t responded to the first. Wait a day. Otherwise, you’re going to look desperate. The truth is, if he doesn’t respond right away, he just doesn’t like you that much. Sending additional text messages will only reinforce the nagging feeling that you’re not for them. That doesn’t mean you should give up; it just means you need to exercise patience. In 24-36 hours send them a text message that piques their interest. Something to do with them. I like it, “I just put your twin in.”
Whether you’re learning how to text a girl or how to text a guy, the rules are the same: create value in the form of engagement, creativity, or laughter. Even transgressions can become an opportunity for laughter. Once, I dated someone who screwed up. This is what they texted: “On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how angry are you?”
Funny texts don’t just buy you forgiveness; they buy you the next appointment.