Leading a slow life with young children
RelationshipIn today’s world, parents are faced with a barrage of marketers and advertisers presenting the message that to be a good parent, one who provides physical and creative experiences, you must enroll your child in ballet, drama, music class, etc. , gymnastics, or all of the above. Is this really the best and most effective way to raise children? If not, what is the alternative?
Living a “slow life”, in my opinion, is the way to go. What does this mean? It means having a routine, whether your children are babies, toddlers, or school-age. It means going to the park, doing crafts or baking together. It means going to play at friends’ houses and allowing alone time for your child to experience independent play and creativity. It also means participating in family activities within the safest and most comforting place there is: home. And it means making a conscious choice about which activities to engage in rather than jumping on the class bandwagon.
The reasons for living a slow life are many, however here are a few:
1) Children who have time to play alone, in a quiet environment, can be creative, solve problems and think about the words they learned that day and the things they saw and wondered about. They also become self-sufficient and their self-esteem improves because they learn to enjoy spending time with themselves.
2) Children who spend quality “free time” with their families tend to have healthy self-esteem because they feel like they are a part of something important. They also feel good about themselves because they see that their parents “like” them and not just “want” them.
3) Children who have enough time to play can develop naturally, which means they maintain their natural and appropriate age instead of having to grow up too quickly while learning to deal with whatever may be in their busy schedule.
4) Most children who live slow lives do better in school and feel better about going to school and learning. Homework is usually not a battle either.
5) Children who live slow lives usually behave better and respect the rules set by their parents.
Now that we know some of the benefits, what does a typical slow life look like? It depends on the age, so this week I’ll talk about toddlers and then move on to school-age kids next week.
Good routine for young children
7 AM if he is awake, give him milk and then leave him in the bedroom to play, read, talk to himself. Just make sure the room is completely childproofed.
After an hour of alone time (or a little longer if they want), take them into the main living room to play games and listen to children’s music or a good quality TV or DVD while you prepare breakfast.
9:00 AM Breakfast food
9:30am plus play time with music then to bed by 10am for first nap if under 18 months OR
9:30 AM take a playgroup or swim, run errands, go for a walk, go to a friend’s house or do an art activity at home and then a short walk if over 18 months (or have given up morning nap)
Noon feeding lunch
12:30 pm to bed for a 2 to 2 1/2 hour nap (if 18 months and older) OR
12:30/1 PM Go to a playgroup or swim, run errands, go for a walk, go to the park, go to a friend’s house, or do an art activity together (if under 18 months and still sleeping nap in the morning and in the afternoon) )
3 pm or 4 pm for nap #2 (if 18 months or younger) OR
3:00 pm Read books together, then have a snack and allow individual play time
4 PM Pick an activity to do together.
Ideas include:
Invite a friend
– do an art activity
– build a puzzle or play with blocks or Lego together
– bake something together
– take a bath while reading a book in the bathroom
– go for a walk with a list of things to see (use pictures if you are a young child) – how many things can you see on the list today?
5 pm Allowed for individual games or time to watch TV or a DVD while preparing dinner
6:00 pm Have dinner together as a family (if the child has finished and is restless, it can be set up to play quietly while mom and dad have fun)
7 p.m. give 15-minute bath (optional), dress in pajamas, give milk, brush teeth, place in dimly lit sleeping bag, then go to bed with kiss, “I love you. Sleep well. See ya in the morning” and lock the door until 7 am the next morning.
Living a slow life is really beneficial for both children and parents. Children have plenty of time to explore and learn, and parents can lead less stressful lives and enjoy their children more than they would if they were rushing through endless activities or commitments. Try it and feel the benefits!