Is happiness the greatest gift?
Tours TravelHappiness, happiness, the greatest gift I have – so goes the song. But what makes you happy? Is happiness the same as a feeling of contentment? Is it something you can search for? Or is it something that catches you off guard?
It was reading a magazine article about happiness that prompted me to start this article. And then, halfway through, I thought how much better it would be if instead of writing about it myself, I opened it up to you.
So here are the dictionary definitions:
Happiness: Feeling or showing pleasure or satisfaction.
Pleasure: A feeling of contentment or joy; enjoyment
Contentment: Status satisfied; quiet happiness
Happiness: A vivid thrill of pleasure; extreme joy
What I’m asking is if you can:
- Give your own definition of the emotions mentioned above
- Say how each of the following makes you feel.
- and add anything else to the list below that you think contributes to your happiness
IS THERE A WAY TO BEAT CHOCOLATE CRAVINGS? AND YOU WANT?
Most of us, if we are women, will be able to identify with our cravings for chocolate. Whatever our normal intake, the craving for the meltdown moment is intensified by hormonal changes in our body. There is evidence to suggest that chocolate bars contain a group of mood-enhancing alkaloids known as tetrahydro-beta-carbolines.
I love it when I have it, but I can go weeks without thinking about it. The problem is that chocolate is fattening, teeth-burping, high in fat, and short-lived. And does satisfying longing really lead to happiness? I would rate the chocolate as a treat. And I would define pleasure as a momentary and fleeting emotion.
SEX?
It depends. If you’re in a loving relationship, you should definitely increase your feelings of well-being. But in that case, isn’t it ‘intimacy’ rather than the ‘high’ associated with physical gratification that gives the lasting sense of bliss? And if so, then if sex is off the menu for one reason or another, surely simple caresses should give you a similar sense of satisfaction?
Apparently the same mood-boosting hormones are affected by sex and by chocolate. Speaking of which, I saw something on TV the other day about a woman who actually preferred chocolate to sex. There was nothing prudish about her. She didn’t have any complexes either; no hidden child abuse; without hatred of men. She was born with a low libido, so she had little interest in sex. But, she adored chocolate!
Having lived through an unhappy marriage, I am aware that sex, per se, can bring pleasure (as defined above) but is devoid of any of the other emotions.
MONEY CAN NOT BUY HAPPINESS. OR CAN?
It’s been said that money can’t buy happiness, but its absence can make you miserable. I have experienced both states and I have to say that I believe there is some truth to that. I also experienced marriage to a businessman and hated the ruthless pursuit of making money.
Shopping seems to be the favorite pastime of the western world, and I am aware that I might seem smug at this point. But the truth is that shopping appeals to me very little, and I really don’t have any great desire to have the latest must-have, do a makeover in my house or fly to Marrakech. But I am aware that I am highly privileged (or self-disciplined?), live comfortably within my means, and have no debt. Well! You can pat me on the wrist if that sounds self-righteous.
With all that being said, I recently went shopping with my daughter and the twins, who needed new shoes. And I bought the most elegant walking shoes I’ve ever owned. Almost on a par with the elegant pumps I bought in Naples many years ago, they have given me great pleasure. Just so you know, they’re the softest red leather, with dark green leaf motifs sewn to the top. I feel like the knees of the bees when I do my stay in the stores every day. And one of the young directors of the company I work for with my other half told me, quite offhandedly, that he loved them!
ACHIEVEMENTS / CREATIVITY?
Oh! Now you’re heating up as far as I’m concerned. Whether it’s cleaning out a closet or creating the next blog, accomplishment can give me a great sense of fulfillment. oh hit! Now I am going to have to define what is to satisfy (what the dictionary says: to satisfy the expectations or desires of; to be accepted as adequate; to put an end to an appetite or lack by supplying what was required). Yes ok. By that definition, I assume that achievement lacks any real sense of lasting pleasure or happiness.
Creativity, on the other hand, is one of the main contributors to my sense of happiness. When you consider the state of poverty of many of history’s now-famous painters, sculptors, and writers, it’s clear that it was their art that fueled their drive. And this, perhaps more than anything else, puts happiness in perspective. Because art can surely be defined as the pursuit of excellence in communication, which, by itself, may not generate money or recognition. On the other hand, think of Coleridge. He produced the most wonderful poetry from a background of a loveless marriage and suicidal tendencies. It’s all pretty illusory, isn’t it, this attempt to define happiness?
NATURE / THE CREATED WORLD
Even warmer! The popularity of nature shows on television speaks volumes. And when you look at all the paintings and photographs in the world that include a beautiful sunset, it’s clear that this must respond to some deep need in human beings. Is beauty alone? Or is it a sense of otherness? Something, or Someone, beyond ourselves?
I know that I feel great joy and happiness welling up in me when I contemplate the wonders of the natural world. I would rate this high on my list. But I am aware that by doing so, I could be condemning those who live in misery and deprivation to a life of unhappiness. And because I believe happiness is an inner state, I don’t think it’s unattainable for those whose outer lives are miserable.
LOVE / FAMILY / FRIENDS
Yes, this is closer to happiness for me. That feeling that seems to come out of nowhere, swells inside you, and makes you about to explode. I have it from time to time when I look at my husband and know the security of his love for me. It amazes me when I look at my grandchildren, great and small, and contemplate, in sheer amazement, the complexity of life and growth and speech and will and morality that exists in each one of them. It comes when friends gather around me to help me through difficult times. And it overwhelms me when I look around and know that I am part of a community, loved and accepted by all.
And you? Leave your comments. My list is by no means definitive. It would be great to know what you can add to it.