How to know when you are really ready for a relationship

As we get older, we start to hear the little tapping of our feet in our minds. We started having dreams of having a husband, a two-door garage with two point five children. You can say that you are ready for a relationship. You’re not getting any younger, and after all, you’re quite the catch. Any man would be lucky to have you as a wife. You’re right. You are the catch of the year. But are you really ready for a relationship? Are you ready to fully commit to a relationship with another person? Are you willing to make a healthy commitment for the benefit of the relationship? Are you emotionally ready? I remember knowing for sure that I was ready for a husband and children when I was twenty-three years old. By all accounts I was ready. He knew how to run a house and could balance a checkbook with his eyes closed. She was ready to handle the household finances. Of course, my husband would never leave me because he would be the perfect wife. Clearly, he was nowhere near relationship ready, nor did he fully understand what was required of me in a relationship. It definitely wasn’t about my knowing how to balance a checkbook with my eyes closed.

Eight years later, I thought I was ready to meet that special being who would have the potential to be my husband and the father of my future two point five children. Once again I thought I was ready for a relationship. Financially, he was ready. I had my own thriving business and did a lot of personal development, so I thought it was good. He could manage a house and also knew how to buy one. At that time, I had also achieved many things in my life and I was satisfied with my achievements, so I was ready to share my life with that special someone. Emotionally though, when I thought about getting involved, I ran so fast in the opposite direction that I could have easily broken Usain Bolt’s world record. Unfortunately, my emotional sprint seemed like I wasn’t relationship ready and caused a great deal of pain and confusion for my love interests. It was impossible to explain since I was as confused as they were. Here I was finally receiving something I had been praying for and when it arrived I felt as if I was throwing it back into the Divine above. Suffice it to say that I went through a tough emotional upheaval.

Unfortunately, he was unaware of the other person’s emotional state. They weren’t ready for a relationship either. What I didn’t realize was that there were different stages in the emotional growth process. I had felt that as long as I felt good and confident within myself, then I was ready. But little did she know that there was so much more that she needed to overcome in order to truly be ready for a relationship.

There is no set date by which you will know when you are finally ready for a relationship. Knowing when you’re ready is really a matter of trial and error. While there are some issues that can be resolved before you get involved in a relationship, there are other issues that will arise during your love relationships. Some of those problems are:

1. Extreme jealousy
2. Possessiveness
3. Manipulative behaviors like playing mind games.
4. Grudge
5. Lack of healthy engagement
6. Adventures/Cheat

If you exhibit any of these problems during your dating relationship, you may not be ready for a relationship. If there are still issues around healthy commitment and you still have an “it’s all about me” attitude with no regard for your partner, then you’re not ready for a relationship. Engaging in sex with someone outside of your relationship signifies a lack of emotional growth, which in turn means that you or your partner are not ready for a committed relationship. In order for you to be ready for a relationship, you must be willing to do your own personal development and thus be willing and open to continue working on yourself once you are in a relationship. This would work best if your partner is also open to personal development, which would lead to continued emotional growth for both of you and your relationship. However, if your partner is not open to personal development, it is up to you to walk away from this person and realize that you are not ready for a mature relationship.

A relationship is not just about commitment, it is also about two emotionally healthy people who have the utmost respect for themselves and each other who have overcome their respective emotional issues or are willing to overcome them for the success of the relationship. Constant work is needed for you to develop emotionally, spiritually and mentally. However, the work is necessary if we really want to be prepared for a relationship.