How someone achieves orgasm when alone
Lifestyle FashionSexuality is about enjoying our own body’s responsiveness through masturbation. Our mind’s ability to respond to erotic scenarios (both real and imagined) leads us to investigate our body’s responses. Using the hands (or more accurately the fingers) to massage the aroused sexual organ allows us to enjoy the pleasure of arousal and orgasm when we are alone. Humans have used their fingers to masturbate since time immemorial.
Regardless of gender, sexual activity aimed at reaching orgasm involves continuous rhythmic movements of the entire body centered on the pelvis. Masturbation, for men and women, simulates the male role in intercourse. Men and women tense the muscles of the buttocks in a similar way to put pressure on the sexual organ from inside the body. Both sexes can also point toes. Men sometimes stand on their toes. These subconscious reflexes result from a push instinct. They cannot be used to cause orgasm.
Orgasm is a brain response. Our minds respond to erotic stimuli regardless of our relationship status and the availability of a partner. A basic feature of responsiveness is that a person can achieve orgasm on their own. Men and women use their fingers to massage the blood flow in the corpora cavernosa inside the penis and the internal organ of the clitoris.
That adults do not tell children how to masturbate. Children discover masturbation on their own if they have the ability. Children investigate the possibility of masturbation shortly after learning about it. Stimulation is very likely to bring boys to orgasm because they are so easily aroused. Girls are not automatically turned on (by hormones) like boys. Clitoral stimulation only leads to orgasm when combined with explicit fantasies.
The function of sexual activity alone is the pleasure of the individual. Male masturbation is much more common than female masturbation because men are easily and regularly present. This constant arousal causes a buildup of sexual frustration that many men like to release through masturbation. A woman is not aroused hormonally, by visual stimuli from a lover’s body, or in anticipation of sexual activity. So a woman does not have the same need to masturbate. She does not experience the repressed sex drive as young men do.
For men, masturbation is often a poor substitute for sexual activity with a lover. But women only reach orgasm through masturbation. Masturbation clearly serves very different functions for men and women. For a receptive woman, orgasm is a simple pleasure but it is not essential to female sexuality.
If a young boy is left marooned on a desert island, he will most likely experience a hormonal erection at puberty. But it is unlikely that he would ever masturbate because he would not have the stimulation of another person’s body to use as a fantasy. If a young woman were marooned on a desert island, she would never discover masturbation to orgasm. She would have no experience of being an object of male desire and she would not have access to erotic fiction to construct the sexual fantasies she would need to reach orgasm.
Adults masturbate long-term because they can generate fantasies that reliably lead to orgasm. The incidence and frequency of masturbation is related to our responsiveness and the creativity of our imagination. The more creative and inventive we are in imagining scenarios, the more likely we are to enjoy solitary activity that relies on our imagination.
The shame arises because many women dislike the idea of masturbation. They find such rude behavior distasteful. Women can be forceful in their condemnation of explicit sexual activity. Many women just don’t understand why someone would masturbate. The few women who do masturbate are inevitably alienated by such attitudes. Men also avoid referring to their masturbatory activities for the same reason.
Receptive women masturbate much less frequently than most men (once every 3-4 weeks on average). Any woman can buy a sex toy. She but she does it to make sure that she can experience orgasm as she has been told she should. But this is not the result of an instinctive mental impulse. Few women have the mental response to eroticism that orgasm provokes.
A man experiences fantasy as a reflection of the real world. He imagines a real partner in realistic and achievable situations. But a woman’s fantasies are based on unrealistic scenarios that cannot be realized in real life. One might wonder why these things are the way they are. One could try to approach sexual arousal and orgasm in a different way. But finally we use the mechanism that works. Masturbation techniques are quite limited.
Most women conclude that orgasm (like masturbation) is overrated. They assume that it should happen automatically during intercourse or when they stimulate themselves. But this is not an orgasm. Even men don’t reach orgasm through physical stimulation alone. Any adult needs some kind of mental stimulation of an explicitly erotic nature to reach orgasm. Women rarely appreciate orgasm happening because of what’s going on in the brain. The very specific stimulation of the sexual organ only works once we are aroused.
Masturbation may or may not be pursued to the point of orgasm, and may or may not have orgasm as its goal. (Alfred Kinsey 1953)