Fictitious style of goal setting
Legal LawYes, I know this topic is a bit “old” in terms of contemporary personal development and has possibly been talked about and written too much…but apparently, we haven’t been listening or doing.
Surprisingly (for me anyway) there are still many people who:
(1) I don’t really know how to set goals (effectively) or
(2) just don’t (for a variety of reasons).
Despite the fact that we want ‘more’ (whatever that means to us personally)… and despite the fact that we want to be in a different place (financially, professionally, physically, emotionally, academically…! possibly geographically!), many of us are clueless when it comes to strategically, methodically, and consciously creating lifelong change.
And then we have those sad people waiting to be ‘discovered’ (good luck with that) or waiting for success to happen to them (and with that).
It seems that most of us don’t set goals as effectively as we could.
We think we do… but we really don’t.
We have hopes and dreams.
But there are no strategies.
Without plans.
No deadlines. We know what goal setting is (that is, we have an intellectual understanding of it), but we don’t have a practical application in our lives (we don’t do it consistently!).
Of course we take pride in ourselves and tell people that we care about personal growth, exploring our potential and pushing boundaries… but when it comes to creating our best life (whatever that is for us personally) we are still very affected. and miss No strategy, no clearly defined goals, very little logic (sometimes) and the odd passion. And if you think passion is enough, you’re wrong. It’s great… but not only.
We have a plan and we know where we want to go… but in reality we don’t have clarity or certainty. And if we want to create something amazing, we need both.
What follows is a bit of review, a bit of common sense, and a bit of education; None of this is rocket science… If you do nothing more than apply these thoughts, ideas, concepts, and suggestions, you may very well create positive change almost instantly.
Here we go:
1. If you don’t have your goals written down, if you don’t have a timeline, and if you don’t have an action plan…then you really don’t have goals; you have a wish list.
2. Goal setting should be a methodical, practical, structured and logical process… not a crazy emotional reaction… “Okay, that’s it!… I’m going to lose 20 pounds by next Wednesday” ( because he said I’m fat!). Take time and space (meaningful) to do it. Get away from the hustle and bustle of your life. Being alone. Be still and silent. And REALLY think about your life… and what you want for that life. What you want, why you want it and how you are going to get it.
Personally, I set my main goal during Christmas and New Years every year and it takes me about a week to set effective goals and plans for the coming year. Success is something we create on purpose, it doesn’t happen to us… it’s strategic, not accidental.
3. Emotion and passion are great… but only when they are joined with logic and reason and wrapped around an intelligent and realistic plan. Emotion and passion alone can be disastrous. By the way, this doesn’t mean you have to be conservative… it’s very possible to be sensible, passionate, and excited… and a little weird (see craigharper.com) and mind-bogglingly successful.
4. If you can’t define it, you probably won’t understand it. Too many people don’t even know what success is (for them). “Do you want to be successful?” “Yes.” “What is success to you?” “Hmm… er… ah… can you ask an easier question?” Dude, find out exactly what you want (and what you don’t want).
5. Start with the end in mind. This helps us gain clarity and perspective on what we need to do and where we need to focus our energy now. “So, ultimately, you want to be a reporter for NBC and you’re a goat herder right now? Hmm, okay… I’d suggest a short course (maybe four years) in journalism to start with… and get that shit off.” of the shoes..” “And take a shower…”
6. Don’t let anyone else tell you what your goals should be. I see this all the time and I hate it… like parents who tell their children what they should be when they ‘grow up’. “Your great-grandfather was a lawyer, your grandfather was a judge, I own the biggest law firm in town… of course you’re going to study law…” “But dad, I don’t want to study law.” ..” “Don’t be ridiculous… you’re seventeen, you don’t know what you want…” “Actually yes… I want to be a choreographer…” “What!! ..” “You know dad, someone who does dance choreography..” “Are you a little weird sissy, boy?” “No sir…” “The law is…”
7. Prioritize your goals and create an appropriate action plan. Some people have so many things they want to do/accomplish…that they end up doing twenty things wrong…instead of a few right. Decide where you need to focus most of your time and energy now…
8. Identify the goals behind your goals. We call these the results…what will bring you (the achievement of that) goal: I want to lose fifty pounds (the immediate goal). But what do you really want? Happiness, improved self-esteem, being attractive to someone, confidence, new clothes, feeling good, health (results). What we really look for are the results; what we believe the achievement of those goals will deliver. However, we must be careful because we often achieve the objectives… but not the results. Like the person who thought that once she was ‘rich’ she would have no problems; they would be happy… happy… and fulfilled. In fact, they ended up more miserable… because they found a lot of new things to worry about.
9. I know I’m going to sound like an old fart when I say this but… We don’t deserve things… we earn them. People who feel that the world (or someone in it) owes them… invariably underperform because they waste too much emotional energy, time, and talent on junk. Get over it, toughen up, take your woe hat off and WORK YOUR ASS. Or go feel sorry for yourself somewhere else; You’re annoying me. and everyone else
10. Ask yourself this question: Am I prepared to do what it takes? If your answer is not absolutely yes (zero doubts)… then change your attitude, score another goal or go back to the sofa. Everything has a price… we need to identify that price and decide if we can and will pay it. Too many people want the dream but don’t want to pay the price.
Alright Groovers and Goal-Setters…cheer up, get busy and start creating your best life. Feel free to share a goal (or two) with the rest of us; sometimes public engagement is good. I’ll cheer you on, even if no one else does.