Expectations: Can childhood trauma cause someone to have ‘negative’ expectations?
Lifestyle FashionIt has been said that someone should not have expectations; however, it has also been said that having expectations is simply part of the human experience. If they are simply part of the human experience, it will not be possible to eliminate all expectations.
So if someone tried to remove them, they would be wasting their valuable time and energy. Also, there will be expectations that someone is aware of and there will be those that they are not aware of.
Two levels
Therefore, even if one were to say that they had no expectations before having a certain experience, there will still be those who are executing on a deeper level. What is happening on a deeper level will also shape the experience that you have.
When describing what an expectation is, one could say that it will be something that one is completely sure of. So there is no doubt that this will be something that will happen.
self reflection
Now, if someone were to step back and reflect on their own life, they might see that they have a set of “negative” expectations. As stated above, these will be things that are sure to happen.
The reason that what you expect will have such a great effect on how you experience life is that you are not simply observers of your reality. What is happening within them is co-creating their external world.
Two parts
This means that one is observing his own creation, his creation being the result of what is happening in both his conscious and unconscious mind. If you only had a conscious mind, having the right thoughts would allow you to create the life you want.
However, since what is happening above is only part of the equation, focusing solely on your mind will not allow you to do this. That’s why the law of attraction doesn’t always work.
a deeper look
However, if one were to list their ‘negative’ expectations, they might find that they have some, if not all, of the following:
• Who expect to be mistreated
• That they expect to be left
• Who expect to be ignored
• Who expect to be rejected
• Waiting to be harmed
• Who expect to be trampled
• Waiting to be slaughtered
• Who expect to be criticized
• Who expect to be humiliated
The next step
Once they have an idea of what some of their ‘negative’ expectations are, they might end up looking for a way to do something about it. If they did this, this could be a time when they are told to replace their ‘negative’ expectations with ‘positive’ expectations.
To do this, they can be encouraged to be mindful, so that they begin to watch their mind and notice when they have ‘negative’ expectations. They will then be able to replace an expectation from one end of the spectrum with an expectation from the other end.
A process
Thanks to your awareness and application of what you have learned, your life will change little by little over the weeks and months. There could soon come a time when they will remember what their life was like, and because of how different their life is, they will find it difficult to relate to it.
On the other hand, they may find that this approach does not work or has no lasting effect. One way of looking at this would be to say that one just needs to keep going and very soon he will experience the results that he desires.
Getting to the root
Another way of looking at this would be to say that they need to deal with what is happening at a deeper level for their life to truly change. For this to happen, it will be necessary to take a closer look at why they have these ‘negative’ expectations.
Ultimately, it’s unlikely that these just appeared out of nowhere; there’s going to be a reason why you have them. There is a possibility that they are a consequence of what happened during his early years.
back in time
This may have been a time when they were abused and/or neglected on a weekly, if not daily basis. The expectations you have as adults will be seen as ‘negative’, but at this stage in your life, they were merely a reflection of reality.
Beneath the expectations you have will be the pain you experienced so many years ago. Simply dealing with the aftermath of what happened will not fix the original pain that came with it.
Awareness
Much of this pain, pain that will be an effect on their developmental needs not being met, will have to be claimed. As you engage in this process, you are likely to find that your ‘negative’ expectations begin to fade.
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If one can relate to this and is ready to take the next step, they may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be done with the help of a therapist or healer.