Coaching Skills Training – The Coaching ARROW – Reflection Time

The reflection stage of the ARROW sequence gives the person being coached (the coachee) the opportunity to reflect on what has been discovered so far. Depending on the underlying issue and how much time is available for coaching in a session, Reflection may turn out to be a minor or major part of the entire process.

It is often in this part of the training process that true enlightenment occurs; what some have described as ‘ah-ha’ moments.

Creating time is often a useful tactic here and some trainers have had great success stopping a training session after Goals and Reality and leaving the trainee with some Reflection questions to think about before meeting again to explore Options and the Way forward. continue.

It is important for realism that the training ARROW is simply a questioning framework, and it is not possible for us to train effectively simply by repeating the questions. The model must be used with flexibility and at all times the needs and agenda of the person being trained must prevail.

We must use the Reflection stage very carefully, as the coachee may have been subconsciously reflecting when answering the questions under Objectives and Reality. Indeed, it is worth encouraging the people we train to continually reflect during the session and, if necessary, refine their goals or review the reality of the situation. Reflect is conveniently placed between Reality and Options because it helps spell ARROW, but reflect, review, backtrack, and skip forward are all perfectly reasonable steps, and indeed essential to working flexibly with ARROW or any other sequence.

Now let’s consider the kinds of things that coaches can encourage their clients to think about. When I use Reflection as a defined step in the sequence, I like to ask my coachee to consider how big a gap there is between their Goals and their Reality. It may be that, on reflection, the Goals now seem a bit conservative or perhaps too optimistic. It may be necessary to decide on a new time frame or generate some shorter-term milestone-type goals. Similarly, Reflection can expose a lack of detail in the appreciation of current Reality. It is at this stage that consciousness rises the most, so it may be worthwhile to reflect and understand the Reality more vividly.

I find the Reflection stage to be a very good time to question any assumptions the coachee is making. Comments like “I tried that before and it didn’t work,” “senior management will never agree,” or “I just can’t do that” need to be challenged because they are not facts. The fact that something has not been successful before does not make it impossible forever. Top management may not approve of the proposal, but if we don’t ask them, the answer is no. No one can know for sure that he is incapable of anything until he tries. Remember the old saying; assume makes an ASS of U and ME.

Coaches who give their coachees time to reflect create an opportunity for a greater degree of honesty to emerge. If I ask you “Are you being totally honest with yourself?” I’m not really accusing you of lying, but I’m encouraging you to dig deeper. People who are not familiar with answering coaching questions can sometimes give fairly bland answers in the first two stages (Goals and Reality). Here we can give permission and encouragement to give more.

My personal favorite Reflection question is “What’s really going on?” Many, many times I have asked this only to receive a sheepish smile or nod. The answer that follows is invariably a more truthful, emphatic, and revealing answer than the one before.

My next article will build on this step by exploring how coachees can generate options.