Can our differences unite us?

26-11-2021

For civilization to survive, we must cultivate the science of human relationships: the ability of all peoples, of all kinds, to live together, in the same world in peace.

~ Franklin D. Roosevelt ~

Sound like a strange question to you? We usually try to think of ways to get along with others despite our differences, not because of them. Or you may decide to fire those who disagree with you to avoid dealing with conflict. Is it possible to use our differences as a way of relating to each other?

What if everyone thought the same way? Wouldn’t this create a dull and boring world? We would soon become complacent and accept everything as it is, ignoring the possibility that changes are necessary or even possible. But maybe the world is already perfect. This is likely not to be the case with the evidence before us on a daily basis. This is not the case now and it will not happen by chance.

The only way to live peacefully in the world we have now is to stop thinking and wondering if things could be better and do what we can to help create a better world. I would presume that they are all equal and are treated as such.

Many of us share the same dreams. We would like to live in peace, have a decent living space, enough food, be able to support our children and prepare them to eventually make their way in life. There is no discussion there. I can’t imagine someone consciously trying to prevent someone else from pursuing these goals.

However, we are not all the same. Some of us are born into families with parents who know how to work together in raising us to live a satisfying and productive life and who have the resources to do so. Others have parents who have struggled to survive or may not have learned what it means to be a good parent. Some parents grew up in the shadow of violence or deprivation. It is all they can do to survive.

Some of us learned from our parents that we are all responsible for each other. Others have learned that they are all for themselves and that you have to fight for what you want. Others see the world’s resources as limited and that you have to grab what you want before others get there first.

These observations highlight the differences in how we view life. If you view life as a joint venture, it is much easier to work together so that we can all meet our needs. If you’ve been deprived of needs, not to mention the joys in life, you may find it difficult to think about the needs of others. It may seem like all you can do is take care of yourself.

How do we bond or help each other with our lives if we are all so different? I think we must begin by understanding what past and current life circumstances have been like for each of us. It is easier to relate to others with experiences similar to ours. Meeting other people whose lives have been very different from ours will help us appreciate their struggles. Despite these differences, I think the person who has not had moments of struggle and challenge that make life difficult for him is rare. The key is to find ways in which our conflicts are similar to those of others and to learn about their different circumstances.

I think the biggest challenge is understanding others who are angry about your misfortune. It will be even more difficult if you are one of them, as then you will have to deal with your own anger. Understanding these people can help you appreciate the blessings in your own life, or it could help you see how others deal with their difficulties. The way others cope could provide some lessons for your own struggles.

There are some specific ways that we can use our differences to come together. I will address them in my next article. Stay tuned.