Blazers have their cake and they eat it too


I have always believed in quality over quantity. But if I can have both, then life is so much sweeter. The Portland Trailblazers have been blessed with the latter and are made to set the NBA on fire.

Looking at the possible starting five will have any Blazer fan drooling in anticipation of the future and other NBA fans wishing Paul Allen was a penniless bum. With blooming stars in 3 of the 5 positions and perfect complements for others, this fabulous five could be one of the most potent to grace a Trailblazer uniform.

However, on the offensive side, this group seems to lack the flair that could really drive an expectant crowd crazy (save for Oden’s occasional edge rocker). I hope this part of the entertainment package is brought to you by the Blazers’ new secret weapon, “Hustle Bench Inc.” Don’t get me wrong, Roy can do something amazing with the ball in his hands, but the driving skills of Rudy “Sky Walker” Fernandez and Jerryd “Energizer” Bayless are the best on this team. At the Olympics, Rudy proved he was more than capable of running his business offensively, even against an all-star NBA team. On more than one occasion, Rudy made up for his lack of man-to-man defensive ability by jumping a passing lane or providing timely help to the D-side to force a turnover. And who doesn’t want to see a three-ball point lead or an alley-oop counterattack with a high-flying Spaniard at the rim? Bayless spent the entire summer league proving that he was a man among boys. Every player who tried to protect him was attacked by the Italian mob and forced to wear cement shoes, allowing him to average more points from the free throw line than his opponents could score during the game. If those two don’t equal emotion, I don’t know what makes it.

If any team can figure out how to obstruct the lane, these next two stalwarts will be waiting to take advantage. Channing “Silky” Frye and Travis “Easy” Outlaw have two of the smoothest jumpers on this side of the Mississippi (where Travis was born). Channing’s propensity for jump shots has drawn a lot of criticism during his time with the Blazers, but at least he knows what kind of player he is (an excellent long-range shooter). Trying to do what you’re not good at is a quick ticket out of the NBA. Outlaw’s jumper has longer reach and is nearly unblockable with its incredible vertical. In a counterattack, dunks from featured reels are always a possibility, although he would rather be the trailer for the play.

This brings us to the gear that turns the wheel, Joel “Block Party” Prizybilla. Last year’s starter and defensive machine has never needed a shooting setup for him, he’s happy with the cleanup basket, which with this unit maybe all he can see. With the defensive deficiencies of the other four, Joel will have ample opportunities to do what he does best, protect his home.

Enough people have glorified the first unit, I think it is time for the bank to get the publicity it deserves.

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